Sibling, Sex, Friendships- ZenTalk #22

By Todd Adams on

What to do when our kids are fighting – 0:00
Staying connected to our kids regarding their sexuality/or other big life issues – 12:15
How a “release button” for a child can lead to bravery and autonomy (and a parenting “win” ) – 24:00
What to do when our child seems unmotivated/how to reflect on the decision to hold a child back or not hold a child back – 36:00
How to talk to our kids when they feel disrespected or not appreciated by their peers/how to talk to the teacher about our child’s experience/why bullying and unkindness are different things – 58:00

Sibling, Screen, Self-Compassion, Sex- ZenTalk #21

By Todd Adams on

What to do when both of your children want attention at the same time – 0.0
My child might get a computer for Christmas – are there any pre-written guidelines? – 10.00
Monitoring screen time is an issue – are there easy ways to monitor or how to discuss overuse of tech? – 15:00
How do we balance aging parents, young children, staying connected to our spouse without losing ourselves? – 25.00
Issues regarding 12-year-old daughter: – 33.00
How and when to approach or begin difficult topics or ask questions about her life or just to talk with her, check in
Tone of voice – when to let it go, how to respond back, what to say when their tone towards you in public is disrespectful
On watching younger siblings- should they be paid?
My daughter told me she is bisexual – how do I support her? – 44.00
My older son isn’t always patient with his brothers – how do I help him/his brothers, and how do I deal with missing the old times when they all got along? – 54.00

Husband, Relationship, School – ZenTalk #20

By Todd Adams on

Why we put up a memory tree for the holidays
What to do when one parent is the “fun” parent – 9:00
Why it’s valuable to have one-on-one time with each child – 26:00
How to connect with a child who often detaches or isolates – 30:00
What to do if your child might benefit from school services but doesn’t feel comfortable being pulled out – 50:00
How to support/love a child who can sometimes be a downer – 57:00

Divorce, Anxiety, Emotional Intelligence- ZenTalk #19

By Todd Adams on

How adult children can manage parental divorce
How to manage holiday stress
How to set a different intention for the holiday and follow through
How to support a child who is afraid of being in a new house
How to support a child who feels anticipatory anxiety around pain
How to support a child who has difficulty calming down when hurt

Emotional Intelligence, Self-Compassion, Disobedience- Sex- ZenTalk #18

By Todd Adams on

Why Halloween is fun
How to share our feelings when people/family/friends disappoint us (why candor is important for healthy relationships)
How to not self-betray
When is it OK to NOT share our feelings with people/family/friends
What to do when our kids don’t follow through
My daughter told me she is bisexual – how do I support her? – 44.00
What to do when we feel like our “conscious parenting” isn’t working (do we use different consequences?)

Metoo, Relationship, Screen, Self-Compassion- ZenTalk #17

By Todd Adams on

Why the #metoo hashtag is making a difference
How to handle/respond to feedback from our partner (about being too sensitive or otherwise) – 8 minutes
How to handle/talk to our kids about inappropriate song lyrics – 23 minutes
Understanding violent video content and why we need to talk to our kids about it – 39 minutes
Asking our kids what they mean when they say someone is their girlfriend/boyfriend, and how to impart healthy-relationship wisdom – 44 minutes
How to be more real, honest, and forgiving around our children and why this teaches self-compassion and compassion overall – 49 minutes

Friendships, School, ZenTalk #16

By Todd Adams on

Las Vegas – how to keep going when the news is so scary
How to deal with the “witching hour” of parenting (usually between 3:30-7:00pm)
What to do when one of your kids is hanging out with someone difficult – how to look at it differently, how to talk to your kid about it
How to ask different questions (rather than “how was your day”) when your kids come home from school
How to speak up and stay true without causing your kids to be embarrassed
How to speak up and stay true in the face of criticism and disappointment

In-Law, Self-Compassion- ZenTalk #15

By Todd Adams on

What is “splitting” and why nothing is all good or all bad – intro
How to find like-minded people, and how to facilitate a women’s circle/men’s group – 11:37
How to handle in-laws who think differently, why spouses need to have each other’s back,
and how to gently differentiate the present-day family from the biological family – 20:36
How to stay informed, but not get overwhelmed, by the news – 45:30

Friendships, Self-Comapssion, Emotional Intelligence, ZenTalk #14

By Todd Adams on

What to do when our child struggles with another child during a playdate
How to practice self-awareness and self-compassion when people pleasing
How to deal with feelings of jealousy and envy (either of other adults or other people’s children) – 15 min
How to better understand how our parents respond to our requests – 29 min
How to better understand why we are looking for when we ask our parents for help
How to better understand what others are looking for when they ask for our support
(The last three weaved together very nicely! Great feedback and advice from lots of Team Zen Members…so much good stuff here!)

Emotional Intelligence, Relationship- ZenTalk #13

By Todd Adams on

Our four tendencies, explained by Gretchen Rubin. Click here to read more and take the test!
How our tendencies explain how we are motivated (there is not a good or bad tendency, only a dominant tendency)
How to understand/talk to a six-year-old who wants “stuff” – 15:00
How to talk with a partner who dismisses or doesn’t understand self-help – 25:00
Why it’s OK to continue loving self-help, even if your partner decides it’s not for her/him

Relationship, Sports, In-Law, ZenTalk #12

By Todd Adams on

Why hope and peace are always available
Ideas to help couples connect
What to do when a kid wants to quit their sport or feels overwhelmed by their coach
Why “quit” is not always the best word (sometimes it’s just not this, or not now, but maybe some other time)
How to communicate with grandparents who follow their own rules and offer too many sugary treats
How to talk with kids who always want to buy things/expect things from the store
How to practice patience with our kids

Self-Compassion, Relationship, Tween, Emotional Intelligence, Racism- ZenTalk #11

By Todd Adams on

Why we need to take care of our “animal” selves
Why it’s difficult to find a consistent rhythm as a stay-at-home mom
Why it’s important to take time for ourselves, even if it’s simple choices
Why talking to our partners about roles/responsibilities is an ongoing conversation
How to talk to a tween who is going through transition (heading into high school/brother is headed to college)
Why we can’t skip over the negative part of the story (joy+sadness live side by side)
How to talk about bigotry and intolerance
What can we do to create change

Emotional Intelligence, Sibling, ZenTalk #9

By Todd Adams on

Why the problem isn’t the problem; coping is the problem (a Virginia Satir quote)
Why kindness informs how we choose to express our anger and other difficult emotions
Why meditation can help us accept rather than “work through” our emotions
How to not identify with worry
How to handle a picky eater/how to teach your child to be a thoughtful eater
How to talk with a child who is frustrated at a sibling or displays anger/jealousy
How to offer lessons to a child who doesn’t want to hear them
How to stay connected
You also get to watch Todd eat asparagus!

Boundaries, Sibling, Toddlers, Phone, ZenTalk #10

By Todd Adams on

Why it’s important to notice our own “subtle violence”, so we don’t let it fester and grow, and so we become more conscious of our anger and boundaries
Why it’s important to listen and ask questions when our kids have a different communication style (8:00)
Why a one-year-old’s hitting is a way of communicating, and why it’s important to stay calm and consistent when redirecting (21:00)
What to say to our kids when they want a cell phone and we aren’t ready for them to have a cell phone (27:00)
Why phone contracts and verbal/written agreements are helpful when it comes to phones, apps, television shows, etc. (27:00)
How to transition from a calm summer to back-to-school busyness (45:00)
How to support a child who needs to decrease sugar intake without driving her or yourself crazy (49:00)

Toddlers, Metoo, Tween, Teenage- ZenTalk #8

By Todd Adams on

Why it’s OK to let go of learning and productivity for awhile
The difference between masculine and feminine productivity (not gender specific, each of us has both)
Why and how we should add love to situations and spread love evenly
How to potty train when you feel under pressure to do so
How to find male and female role models for our children
How to discuss gender equality authentically and without lecturing
How to talk to a tween/teen about their sometimes-overblown reaction to simple requests

Emotional Intelligence ZenTalk #7

By Todd Adams on

Why we all have different responses to stimulus (we all have different sensitivities, and that’s ok)
Why some of us are more connected to other people’s emotions and what it means to be an empath
How to deal with old emotions that have never been released
Why emotional people often get less empathy from the ones they love (we all have a different purpose…)
How to ask for what we need
Some great games to play with the family

Emotional Intelligence, Disobedience, Boundaries, ZenTalk #6

By Todd Adams on

Why it’s important to show up, even with our flaws and mistakes
Why telling our story is vital to our emotional health
Dealing with a child who is acting out in a serious setting (like a funeral)
Why setting expectations upfront may decrease negative behavior
Why it’s important to validate our children’s feelings and pain (even during sporting events)
Why validation is different than permissiveness

Boundaries, ZenTalk #5

By Todd Adams on

Why values are “qualities of action”
How to change the story about family meals – how we eat, what we eat, and what we value most
How to empower a kid who lives “out of the box” while also teaching them about social norms
How to find balance when it comes to needing control
Understanding why we need control (go to the feeling it provides or the feeling that subsides)

Anxiety, Sibling- ZenTalk #4

By Todd Adams on

Why an “input fast” can be a good idea (so you can hear yourself think without people telling you what to think!)
How to talk to young children about adult topics (like a previous marriage)
Why normalizing allows our children to understand things (without anxiety)
Why siblings put each other down and how we can see it differently
Why kids (and all people) like having power
Understanding why and how we can all do hard things

Teenage- ZenTalk #3

By Todd Adams on

Why we need to protect our heart so we can keep it wide open
Why we need to create a new relationship with our teenager and how to effectively communicate
What is happening during meditation, why we meditate, and how to start
How to create a new relationship with the word “beauty” so we can authentically say to our children “you are beautiful” without feeling we are solely focusing on their appearance