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We discuss 4 ways to reduce your holiday stress: Dealing with family, How to cope with a case of the “shoulds”, Setting an intention for the holidays, Register for the 8 days of Holiday Calm Virtual Retreat. Todd features the first of four weekly shout outs to a a holiday movie. This week we feature National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. The Tournament of Bad is in full force as we debate delaying the gratification by listening ...
We talk with Nancy Mullen, social worker, author, pastry chef, and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. Nancy worked for several years in the HIV/AIDS field and shifted to her work with LGBT youth in 1998 as the executive director of a small, grassroots agency. She is a sought after public speaker on topics such as LGBT Youth and Adolescent Development and Current Trends in Working with LGBT Youth. She is a ...
What is Thanksgiving about? Being with family or finding the best deal? Many retailers moved Black Friday deals up a day and now people are expected to work on Thanksgiving or they feel the need to shop instead of relax. We subscribe to not feeding into the frenzy – will you join us? We also discuss a book titled Triumphs of Experience by George Vaillant. The book is the longest longitudinal study of human development. Among the ...
We were inspired by a 60 Minutes segment about a group of billionaires who took “The Giving Pledge”. It’s headed up by Bill/Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet, and the only requirement is to give away at least half of your fortune. Sometimes it’s easy to look at the super rich and say, “Well if I was that rich, I would do the same thing.” The bottom line is that most people in the U.S. are ...
Conversations With People We Love- We interview a self admitted former bully. Mark Schultz is a friend and somebody who told Cathy and I that we had to watch the documentary Bullyand then interview him on his experiences as a former bully with the hopes that we can all learn a little bit from his experience. He shares with us how he became a bully and the unlikely person who showed up to change his ...
We are talking about bullying…. again, but this time it’s about the adults (Rich Incognito/Jonathan Martin story). We discuss “man code” and the culture of the NFL, but recognize that many cultures have a “code” that is expected to be kept. It’s easy to direct anger at the an individual, but we are reminded that most bullies were a victims at some point in their lives. We also discuss end of life decisions as a ...
Are you sure about that? Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesn’t mean that nothing is going on – they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help. Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences ...
Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to live your passion? You are not alone. That’s why we invited Chicago musician Gerry O’Keefe to talk with us about living his passion while taking care of work and family business. We discuss how to keep your passion despite the responsibilities we have as a parent, employee, spouse, etc., his new album titled “Whatever Suits You”, Van Halen, David Cassidy, not allowing the negative to ...
Failure is important right? We learn a lot from failure, right? Then why do we try to protect our children from ever failing? We have a discussion between the relationship between failure, confidence, narcissism, self worth, etc. The people who have made the largest impact on our world had significant failures, too. We also discuss families who send their kids to an “athletic boarding school” Is this an effort to give their child the best ...
In the Jewish tradition there are two different words that describe fear. The first is called Pachad– “projected or imagined fear,” or the “fear whose objects are imagined.” The second is called Yirah– the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to. We discuss the video below from Tara Sophia Mohr describing the differences. We then discuss healthy ways to overcome fear: Analyze your fear ...
Well, you’ve come to the right place. In our very first bi-monthly “Conversations with People we Love”, we talk with Heather Criswell, author of “How to Raise a Happy Child” . Crawl inside the mind of Heather, a noted “kid whisperer”, and see how she discovered (through 25 years and 30,000 children) what works with every child, in every situation, every time. Heather also shares some of her own struggles and she discusses how language ...
Science now tells us that if we react to our children’s “failures” with compassion instead of criticism, our kids will have a greater likelihood of succeeding. We discuss these ideas and the book Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. We also discuss the different ways men and women measure acts of love. The good news for the guys is that we use a point system, the bad news is we haven’t been keeping score the right way ...
A listener emailed and said her husband becomes agitated when she discusses personal growth or suggests listening to our podcast. We discuss the importance of honoring where your partner is in this moment (maybe he doesn’t want to listen to the podcast), and still speaking up about your own needs (but he can appreciate that you enjoy it). Change can be scary, but it’s a necessary and normal part of everyday life. Self awareness is ...
Do you have a spouse who travels? Are both the exit and reentry a challenge? Do you feel appreciated for what you do while your spouse is away, and does your spouse feel appreciated for the hard work involved in work travel? We discuss the importance of validation and communication when your partner travels, and why it’s important to say what you need. We also discuss the importance of prioritization and how we need to ...
We discuss the 5 different love languages based on a book by Gary Chapman. The discussion will help you decide your dominant love language and help you figure out the love language of your children (and spouse!). This can be the first step toward a deeper and more understanding relationship with your family. Todd also discusses a feel good story about a homeless man named Glen James and what he did to change his own ...
We discuss “Rachel’s Challenge”, a presentation for schools that focuses on kindness and self-awareness. This program that has reached over 19,000,000 people. Each day 160,000 students do not go to school because they are bullied, teased and harassed. By turning the story of a tragic death at Columbine High School into a mission for change, Rachel’s Challenge is helping create safer learning environments and making a world-wide impact. Rachel’s Challenge is a series of student ...
We discuss a blog titled The Conversation You Must Have With Your Sons by Carina Kolodny. One out of five college girls are sexually assaulted. As parents we do everything we can to help our daughters make smart decisions and stay out of difficult situations. Are we having conversations with our sons about making responsible decisions? Or does this kind of conversation feel unnecessary or uncomfortable? Cathy fires back at the people who say the ...
What does it mean to “succeed”? To us it means self awareness, connection to the whole, and sharing your gifts and talents. On this show we share a few ways to help your child find greater success. 1) (6:10) Send them to overnight camp. Benefits- Give your child a sense of independence that is hard to duplicate in their normal day to day lives. It’s a safe setting They can “shed” their old selves and ...
We discuss an article in Psychology Today titled What Happy People Do Differently The Real Rewards of Risk- When anxiety is an optional state A Blind Eye to Life’s Vicissitudes- The benefit of seeing the forest but not the trees The Unjealous Friend- We’re buoyed by others’ good fortune A Time For Everything- The upside of negative emotions The Well-Being Balancing Act- Pleasure and purpose work together Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University ...
8 things to help deal with back to school anxiety Why Ashton Kutcher’s stock skyrocketed for Todd One man’s message to his daughter- “I hope you have great sex” 4:27 Anxiety is normal. Sometimes parents tell their kids not to feel anxious. Listen Ask questions Be engaged Own your role in the situation Know you’re not alone It gets easier Advocate for your child in dealing with “inschool” sadness Ask for support for teacher 12:16 ...
What can Taylor Swift teach our daughters? 3 more things every parent should know Hunger Games Camp- Good idea or bad idea? Time Stamp 1:39 Taylor Swift Concert Review 5:14 Men/Boy perspective on music 10:05 Habit #9 The secret to parenting is knowing when to let go 14:30 Habit #10 Trust yourself, you’re the expert on your child 16:20 When people dump their fear upon you 17:35 Stories Todd hears about what will happen when ...
We discuss how feeling “bad”, whether it’s emotional or physical, is actually not so bad. Should grief be a diagnosable disorder or is it normal human emotion? Movie quotes from Airplane, Talladega Nights, and Billy Madison Talking about patience as a virtue and Todd Todd sings “Patience” (G n Roses a cappella) Time Stamp .30 Looking at your kids illness differently 1:58 11 Things I wish every parent knew by Stephen Cowan 2:24 A symptom ...
Brene Brown’s definition of Critical Awareness and dealing with our constant need to be productive. Time Stamp 2:20 Critical awareness 4:08 Body Image 10:03 Todd’s no shower story 15:15 Categorize and differentiating children’s fears 19:10 Addicted to productivity 28:38 Debate on different definitions of meditation 33:03 #4 & #5- from Things I wish every parent knew 39:30 Kids are your your spiritual teachers 45:04 Tournament of Bad Give us a review on iTunes and receive ...
Topics: We discuss the problems with society’s version of masculinity vs. the hopes we have for our sons. We also discuss a few of the 11 things one doctor wished every parent knew. The Mask You Live In Trailer 11 Things I wish Every Parent Knew Time Stamp: 1:05 Redefining Masculinity 2:38 Be U- Helping Children Become Emotionally Intelligent Leaders 5:15 Clip #1 from The Mask You Live In- society’s stereo-types of what it means to ...
Topics: The Science of happiness, fathers who expect more from their sons, and using medical marijuana for sick kids We discuss two videos regarding the science of happiness: 4:24 The Science of Happiness 7:41 Showing gratitude is one of the keys to happiness (Soul Pancake Video) 8:45 Different ways to show gratitude without the guilt 9:30 Bon Jovi Concert Review 11:27 Tom Shadyac– Figure out what you do best and make that your way of giving ...
Turning your children’s failures into positive experience, When children blur the lines between fact and opinion and how we can help them. If you want to make your life less chaotic, then you need to make a shift in your perceptions. We discuss what imaginal cells are in a butterfly and how we can learn from them. Both how it affects our own life as well as how we’re connected to one another. We get ...
The word you need to incorporate into your parenting- “WAIT”. On todays show we discuss the following blog which can be found here. An excerpt from this blog… Parents need to slow down, stop comparing, and wait. This word, “wait,” is used too rarely in today’s frenetic lifestyle. Magda Gerber, a renowned child therapist and infant specialist, considered waiting to be a fundamental part of her child care philosophy. Parents don’t wait for their babies ...
We discuss the story about a mom “spy” who told her 12 year old daughter she could spend time with her her friends, but also said she had to stay within a designated area. If she left the area, she was supposed to call her mom and let her know. The mom dropped off her daughter and then pulled the car around the block and parked out of sight so she “spy” or still see ...
Cathy and I talk about sibling bullying. Is it accepted more because it’s part of living with brothers and sisters? Or maybe because bullying was part of our household growing up? We discuss a USA Today Article entitled “Bullying By Siblings Just As Damaging” Keep in mind it’s not just physical, it’s psychological as well. We give our two cents as well as some tools how to recognize if bullying is a problem and what ...
This week Cathy and Todd focus on two things: Emotional Intelligence and Summertime Blues. What is the importance of raising emotionally intelligent boys? They are offering a class for 5th grades (10 boys/10 girls) and the girls filled up almost immediately. The boys have been more of a challenge to recruit. They discuss why, and they specifically cite Cathy’s latest blog about why we need to let our sons feel. They talk about their 5 year ...
Cathy and Todd introduce you to their new program titled Be U: Helping 5th graders become emotionally intelligent leaders. Kids are always being told to focus on their IQ, but what about their Emotional Intelligence? Do they know their value and importance? Do they know how to work with others? Do they know how to manage their emotions? This 6 session program (offered in Elmhurst, IL) targets 5th graders to help them feel grounded in who they are ...
My guess is that your answer is, “I hope so” or “Of course I am”. Sometimes what we wish for our kids is different than how we treat our kids. An example of this trust issue happened to me at Great America when I waited in line with my daughter to get on a roller coaster only to find out when it was our turn to board that she was too afraid to get on ...
Is it naïve to be positive, or is it naïve to be negative? This is the question surrounding the short video entitled “This is Water”, an audio from author David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech. It’s backed up by meaningful and thought provoking video, reminding us to consider that if we view the world differently, we can change our own reality. Cathy and Todd discuss the common “monotony” of an adult day, and how we can make ...
Sticks & Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me – is it true? We think yes, and we think no. Our friend’s daughter came home saddened by a classmate who said something mean – mom replied with, “words schmerds, don’t worry about it.” And her daughter said, “But those words hurt me.” We talk about the paradox of the importance and unimportance of words – they are powerful IF you give ...
In a blog by Jill Kirby titled “If This Is Average, Then I’ll Take It” We discuss that in a “bell shaped” curve, most kids are academically average, yet very few parents are willing to accept this. We continue discussing how a kid might be average in the classroom, yet have other special gifts. Could they be good enough? And is good enough something you can handle? It is our job as parents to nurture and ...
Jason Collins comes out as the first openly gay current NBA star. We discuss why this will help our culture to continue to evolve to be one of inclusiveness instead of one of exclusion. We also talk how this will positively affect all young boys and girls who are gay now might be able to look at this situation and imagine possibilities of their own life that were otherwise more difficult to see. We discuss ...
The Butterfly Effect, you have heard of it right? What you do has ripples and effects others around the world. In the wake of the Boston Bombings, and all of the activities that have taken place since, it appears that there is no better display of the Butterfly Effect to be seen right now. Cathy and Todd talk about how teaching your children about this idea can lead them down the road to success and ...
Cathy and Todd follow up on last week’s ADHD discussion because they received some not-so-happy feedback from some listeners. They address the fact that often times when a child is medicated, it can be a very difficult and well thought out decision, it’s not always thought of as a quick fix. But in too many cases, it’s the first choice, and that’s where a new perspective or different options may make a difference. They also ...
Are there “alternative” ways to deal with ADHD other than popping a pill? Cathy and Todd discuss the significant number of children that are diagnosed with ADHD (6.4 million children) and why 2/3 of them are given a prescription. Todd recalls a recent experience where he witnessed a 40+ year old bully a 10 year old boy – he wishes he could have the moment back and do it differently. Todd and Cathy face-off on ...
Cathy and Todd talk about sibling rivalry, how it’s good “life practice”, and the differences between what’s normal and when it’s a good idea to interfere. They also talk about family meetings and how to get everybody on the same page (before the kids tune you out). Todd talks about Lisa Reagan‘s article titled “Why and How Do We Shift” (in Pathways to Family Wellness Magazine) where she shares four different ways to open up ...
You are not alone if you have shamed your kid this week. Why hide all of the truth? Let’s get it out in the open and talked freely about being shamed, because their is a good chance it happened to you. This week Cathy and Todd continue to talk about Brene Brown’s shame and vulnerability research. They discuss 6 ways to NOT respond when someone shares something deep or shameful, why some friends are easier ...
Are you worrying yourself sick? Is that even possible? Cathy (with the support of Brene Brown) helps Todd through his continuous struggle over money, worry, & fear. He’s frustrated with the amount of worry he’s carrying because it brings down his mood. He’s worrying about worrying and feeling bad about feeling bad. In order for us to be good parents, we must figure out a way to be a good example of how to allow ...
Has Todd hit his boiling point when it comes to how much screen time his daughters have? The iPad is taking over and he can’t control it! Can Cathy help Todd come to love the iPad for what it can be? Who else spent all their hard earned cash as kids playing video games when they were young? Times have changed. Now there is no reason to go to the Arcade, because you can save ...
While Todd didn’t see the stress of standardized tests in the latest episode of HBO’s “Girls”, it did stress him out because he is worried about his own children. Will his own three daughters stay healthy if this is the way things are when they’re in their 20’s. Maybe Todd shouldn’t watch so much HBO. As for the standardized testing issue, every state and most parents have to deal with it and the stress it ...
We discuss two related topics: Know anyone who lives life through their children? Can you be too close to your children? Do you know parents that have a case of the “We’s” – Do you find parents who say things like “We are trying to make the soccer team” or “We decided to do ballet this summer.” This can sometimes be a sign that parents might be a little too close to their children ...
Cathy and Todd discuss “disengagement” and how it can erode the trust in a relationship – your partner may not be cheating or abusive, but if they emotionally disengage, it can be very painful. They also discuss how we disengage from our children and how it makes them feel unsafe. We often talk about Domestic Violence against women, but what about when a man is abused by a woman? How does this type of domestic ...
Have you ever heard of the term “childism”? Neither had Cathy or Todd, until they heard about a book by Elizabeth Young Bruehl called “Childism: Confronting Prejudice Against Children” They discuss the increasing trend of parents using social media to humiliate their children to demonstrate authority. Todd really struggles with parents who punish and exert unfair tactics against their children. In this episode, learn how to discipline kids without humiliation so that the discipline works ...
Cathy and Todd talk REAL love vs SPIDER love (taken from Martha Beck’s book, Steering by Starlight) – do you love authentically or do you “make” people love you by controlling their behavior OR altering your behavior so you don’t “bother” them? REAL love is about sharing your true self and setting the ones you love free so they can be their true selves. They also discuss if it’s wise to talk to our kids ...
How exactly are we teaching our sons “to be a man”? Have you ever used the phrase- “You throw like a girl.” Most have and we explain why it’s the little things that add up to make your son less of a man and create your sons’ overall perception of women. 1 in 5 women in America will report that they were sexually assaulted. We discuss Colin Stokes Ted Talk regarding the movies we watch ...
Dr. Kelly from Tree of Life Chiropractic joins Todd and Cathy for a discussion about the flu and the flu shot. There’s a lot of panic right now, but there are many effective ways to take care of you and your family. Dr. Kelly shares information and resources that may ease your mind. And Cathy and Todd discuss the Lance Armstrong interview – are we practicing forgiveness or do we feel the need to punish? ...
